We need a safe haven at home.
Do you find yourself arguing with your White partner over the validity of racial microaggressions that you experience? Are you frustrated and hurt by their inability to "feel you" when you talk about race and racism? Do you notice yourself growing more distant from them, avoiding certain topics of conversation, or even spending less time with them?
Because of systemic racism in our society, if you are not emotionally safe at home, you are not fully safe anywhere.
We need warm, attuned relationships in order to recover from the daily exposure to racism in its myriad of forms.
Loving a Person of Color is not enough to dismantle the racism within.
Are you frustrated with your BIPOC partner's insistence about talking about race? Do you feel upset and confused by their frustration with your responses to them? Do you acknowledge your white privilege and the existence of racism in our society, but it never seems to be enough?
When Whiteness is assumed to be "normal," we implicitly expect our BIPOC partner to conform to our standards. But there is another opportunity here: to heal from the poisoned well of racist socialization that is inescapable in this society. While it is not your fault that you have been indoctrinated with racism, it is your responsibility to heal, in order to stop perpetuating harm to the BIPOC around you. You have a unique opportunity to heal, when you have a Partner of Color.
Things could be a lot better between you.
Because of colonization, genocide and enslavement in the United States, consensual and legal interracial relationships are a relatively new phenomenon. As People of Color become more aware and empowered, old models of assimilation in interracial relationships are no longer working for them. White partners will need to relinquish their white privilege within the relationship by taking an ongoing journey of healing from racist socialization. BIPOC partners will need to continue their journey of healing from the trauma of racism.
This exploration is a transformative process that can take your relationship to a new level of safety and intimacy, should you both choose to come along for the ride.
Join Danette C. Gillespie-Otto, LCSW and Marc F. Otto, MA, RSMT/E for a 4-week interactive couples experience based in the principles of Interpersonal Neurobiology to support your interracial relationship. Using psychoeducation, affinity groups, mixed groups, couples sand tray process, non-dominant hand drawing, mindfulness and attunement practices, we will support you in beginning to unwind the impact of racism on your relationship.
BIPOC Partners: must have taken "Healing from the Trauma of Racism: A Liberation Process Group for People of Color" (Part I) with Danette C. Gillespie-Otto, LCSW. To register for the next group in January 2020, please click here: https://communioncounseling.com/htr-i
White Partners: must have taken "Co·Liberation: Rejoining the Human Family" with Marc F. Otto, MA, RSMT/E. To register for the next group in February 2020, please click here: http://www.nourishingrelationship.com/workshops/
Be sure to register today!
Dates: Tuesday evenings - March 10th, 17th, 24th and 31st
Time: 6-9 PM
Location: NE Portland (specific address provided with registration)
Cost: $650.00 per couple
Early Bird Special: $495 per couple when registered by January 31st (save 25%)!
You can also pay a $200 deposit to reserve your spot. For registration, please see below!